First of all, let's address this “Bella” character. She obviously needs to be on medication, based on her seizures in the movies, but other than that, I would say she is an average teenage girl. Emotionally unstable, irresponsible, incompetent, and just a plain disgrace to girls like me. Remember those emotional unstable girls I talked about in my Classifieds blog? Yeah, she's like the definition. I understand you are upset about your parents divorce and moving around and starting over, but honestly, can you smile once?! You do not smile at all during the movie and just have that stupid half-gaping look on your face. You're life is not that bad at all. You have a dad that does everything he can in order to connect with you, and YOU shut him out, and instead throw yourself at the nearest vampire. What a role model for our young girls out there! Maybe you should be happy that you have a roof over your head, parents that both love you very much and food to eat every day.
Also, it's not like everyone hates her (in the book that is! In real life most people do, but that's a whole different story!). I mean, the hottest guy of every Forks High School girls' dreams walks up to her and asks her to prom! And she doesn't like him? Like that would ever happen. Any girl with the mind like hers obviously would just go for the first guy that made themselves available.
Another problem I have with Bella, in the books she thinks like a forty-four year old woman, critically analyzing everything and so aware of everything that is going on around her.
Things that she thinks:
“My primary motivation behind buying a car, despite the scarcity of my funds, was that I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue lights on top.”
“It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased; a relief to stare dejectedly out the window at the sheeting rain and let just a few tears escape.”
“I peeked up at him one more time, and regretted it. He was glaring down at me again, his black eyes full of revulsion. As I flinched away from him, shrinking against my chair, the phrase if looks could kill suddenly ran through my mind.”
Things she says:
“They are.....very nice-looking.”
“Once people start throwing wet stuff, I go inside.”
“I'm fine.” (Phrase repeated about 235 times in first book, and used to describe clothes/events at least fifty more times.)
You would think that with her extensive vocabulary in her thoughts, she would be able to describe things a bit better. Isn't that a little bit fishy to anyone else, or is it just me?
Now let's move on to Edward. Basically, he is the epitome of every girls worst nightmare as far as guys go. The only reason they like him is because he is a) a vampire and b) supposedly hot. Cedric Diggory was hot, but, Cedric didn't sparkle and had more of an olive complexion. Edward Cullen looks like a dead body with glitter glue.....girls find that attractive? Shameful. Now, every girl talks about how much they wish they had a guy like Edward.
So you want a guy that will:
- Try to drink your blood and kill you.
- Get mad at you for not being able to read your thoughts.
- Tell you that he never wants to see you again, multiple times.
- Break your heart, multiple times.
- Be bipolar (talk you to one day, ignore you the next)
- Get mad when you get a paper cut.
Sounds like the EXACT opposite of what girls say they want. Yet, they blindly follow Edward around in his sparkle parade? I bet if a boy walked up to you with sparkles on, one thought would be running through your head: He's probably gay. You wouldn't think: Oh my God, a vampire?! I honestly get mad when I think about everything that Edward put Bella through. And the fact that they “fell in love” so fast just makes me even more enraged. He thinks she smells, she gets offended, and then she sings of her love for him? Awesome.
Now, for all you Jacob haters out there: He is the most sane guy in the book. People say he is needy and clingy, but I can bet you any money that if a guy walked up to one of the girls saying he was “too needy” and acted the way that Jacob acted in the book, the girl would be totally smitten with him and fall in love with him. The only reason you don't like him is because, HE GETS IT! He sees how big of a jerk Edward is and cares about Bella and doesn't want to see her get hurt. Honestly, Jacob is hotter (literally, ah har har har, twilight joke!), more sensible and more reliable than Edward was and ever will be.
With that being said, Stephanie Meyer does give him some character flaws. He gets jealous. I find this to be a perfectly acceptable quality, especially since he isn't crazy jealous, he is rightly jealous. He is stubborn, but nowadays, who isn't? He has a bad temper, but nothing even close in comparison with Edwards bipolar-ness. And he can be a bit cocky at times. Let me ask you a serious question: If you had that body, wouldn't you be a bit cocky at times?
Obviously, I'm more of a fan of Jacob, but I think they are all vastly overrated and ridiculous. I mean, the books were wonderful for the most part. I believe Stephanie Meyers is a fantastic writer, but based on her novel The Host, not the twilight saga. The Host is a brilliant novel with a mainly original idea and plot behind it.
Basic point: I can't wait until twenty years from now, when every single girl who is going to the Breaking Dawn midnight premier will realize that their dreams of falling in love with a vampire or werewolf have not happened and will never come true.
K.G. Sunshine
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